Dear Diary: 24 November 2024

I post far less often than I used to. Partly this is becuase there are not that many changes, but mostly because I often dont have the energy to write a post. Also, after working my fingers often hurt and typing more isnt that great! That’s forgetting the act of trying to think clearly to write a post! As an example – I started this post on 1st November!

Because of that, I mostly now post when I have something to actually post ABOUT rather than just “more of the same”.

The other week however (when I started this post) was significant though. I got my referral back from the ME/CFS Service in Leeds, seems I’ve got to the start of the waiting list and they’ve sent me a questionnaire to fill in. Its a pretty simple “tick box” one – but its hard to answer sometimes as it’s “I am not sure really” on some of those. Some of those I have answered that I have maybe more problems than I actually do – hopefully we will discuss these at my first appointment which will be video based (will need to pin up a curtain behind me I think!)

After filling in the questionnaire and sending it back I’ve now got my appointment set for4th December so will very soon have my initial consultation. I don’t know wht to expect but I do know that the Dr I will be speaking to has worked with ME for over 10 years so hopefully she is of some use.

I don’t know what I am even hoping for though. I’ve long realised that my main motivation for pursuing this is to prepare myself for a possible claim of ill health retirement and having a medical diagnosis and potentially a medical opinion on my health may be able to secure this. To be honest it’s still unlikely but its worth a try!

This week I’ve not been good at all though – I’ve spent most of the time in bed that I have not had to be out, and I took Friday off work as annual leave as I could not face the day. I dread work every day and struggle through pain and brian fog that gets worse as the weeks go on. I am REALLY looking for 3 weeks off in 3 weeks time.

The first of my three weeks off – we’re going back to near Barnard Castle – and looking forward to seeing the rest of the Bowes Museum. I just hope its not raining too bad to use my chair – as I really cant walk around places much these days. I can “walk” not too bad – but “standing around” – is just no good. I would be sitting and waiting for most of the time and not getting anything out of it!