Dear Diary: 10 May 2022

6:28am….. I haven’t slept yet. I don’t know if I’m going to call in sick or if I’m going to try and work and do what I can, but inevitably I will only be able to do a small amount of work.

Yesterday I was not feeling great. Fatigue got on top of me and I was feeling stressed and light-headed. I really wanted some fresh air and want to get some exercise so I can lose some weight. I decided to go for a short walk in Lister park. Of course this required extra effort to get there. It’s easy to forget about getting into the car and then driving for 15 mins in rush hour traffic!

So walking through the park – I love it there – but each step was becoming heavier. By the time we got to the bottom of the hill, I sat on a bench and the girls went to get Subway sarnies. I didn’t want any myself but I DID think of subway cookies. Then I thought maybe getting then from ASDA as we were close and we needed some other stuff from there.

After waiting for them to get their food, we walked back to the car… steps even slower going up hill.

Relieved to get back in the car we drove to ASDA and I had to go in too as I needed to be able to choose what cookies I got… We were only in there around 15 mins and then walked back to the car.

By the time we got home, it was gone 6pm and we had left at 4:30pm, so we had been 90 mins for that “short walk in the park”.

At the time I wondered if going for the walk was overdoing it – especially as I was already run down. I can say now with no doubt that it was a mistake. To say that I am more fatigued now would be an understatement. It’s not really surprising though. As I said at the start of this post, it’s 6:28am (now 6:50am). I have not slept at all during the night.

Oh I’ve laid there. I’ve tried laying on my side, on my front, on my back, propped up. I went downstairs around 3am and got a bottle of water and sat there and drunk it before coming back up to bed hoping the change of location would kickstart me back to sleep. Nope.

It seems one of the effects of PEM can be an increase in sleep disorders. Certainly not going to be going out for a walk after work again unless I feel really good. If I want fresh air – I can just sit in the garden!

This is really frustrating!

If I DO try and push through the day – I will only be worse again tomorrow and the next day. I may end up taking all week to recover. I also plan to be “up” in the early hours on Friday/Saturday this weekend to move a server over. I guess I will have to see about that nearer the time.

Today then I think I will start “at work” and I am sure my boss will give me a call like he usually does in the morning. I will tell him then I haven’t slept and think I cant work today.